I feel like death about it really. But I keep telling myself that I'll only feel this way for a few days, a week maybe.
I guess I've never picked out a puppy from a litter and had one bond to me like Mercy has. She follows me around everywhere and I love her. I'm thinking back to late nights in the yard running around with her chasing my at my heels. (tears are streaming right now) I hate this. So why am I giving her up?
My husbands comment that all I had done was complain since we got her was a wake up call for me. He was right. While I enjoyed her from time to time each day, the rest of the time I felt over stressed and had a constant sense of urgency that Mercy needed to go out, or what was she doing, etc. I guess I felt a lot of anxiety over her. If she was in her crate I felt guilty, if she wasn't in her crate I felt like I wasn't getting done the things done that needed to get done.
Part of me is saying why couldn't I have just chilled out? I'm so type A. I like things clean, neat and orderly. Mercy had me doing horrible things like going to the park more often and spending time in our back yard way more than I used to. Heck! I was sitting out with my kids in the woods! I had never done that before!
Okay, she is just a dog. I am going to get over this and it is the right decision. We went back and forth, back and forth. I have no choice but to stick to this decision. She is my sister's and her kids now. She isn't ours anymore.
For me, to be a good mom and wife, I don't need a puppy right now. I believe I made the right decision. Hopefully I won't cry too long tonight. It feels like she is my baby and I'm giving her up. Is this normal?