During my time on partial bed rest, I wrote about how God showed me the importance of spending time with him. He took me back to the days when I spent time with him every day because that time was my life-line. It truly kept me going. I couldn't live without it! Somehow through the years, the addition of more children, a bigger house, more stress, (and consequently more need for the Lord!) time spent praying, journaling and reading my Bible became less and less frequent. Thankfully God showed me again just how much I need time with him! Since I've been on bed rest I have continued to make time to spend with Him. It hasn't been every day, but most days. This evening Steve is out with the boys and I have (they are still out!) an agenda to accomplish. We are starting our study of the Middle Ages and I have a ton of books to go through and organize into a lesson plan.
I also was having a crisis of faith, feeling very angry and anxious at a particular circumstance in my life. I remembered as I sat down to go through the books that I really should spend time with the Lord.
So I put these books aside....
And got out my journal. I told God, I knew he knew my heart. He knew just what I needed.
Then I grabbed my Bible and honestly, this time, I just opened it and started reading right where I opened it.
That's about when I started crying. I began reading in Isaiah chapter 40 and as I neared the end of the chapter my eyes welled up with tears as I read exactly, exactly, what I was doing, exactly what I was feeling. As I cried, the heavy weight in my heart melted away.
I realized that I was looking just at my circumstances. I wasn't considering the Eternal God I serve. I wasn't remembering that he doesn't get tired. His understanding knows no limit. I need not put my hope in myself, others, what I think might happen, any worldly circumstance. My heart was strengthened and restored when I put my hope in God. Everything else can fail, often will fail, people fail, but God doesn't.
God has again and again, made himself real to me, and gently ministered to the need of my heart, every time I have carved out time to spend with Him. He is so good!