Friday, March 19, 2010

High learning curve....

For some reason (God), I seem to be learning sooooooo many new things lately.  Like the world is just opening up to me in leaps and bounds.  I'll try and share just a few of them even though I feel somewhat embarressed that I didn't already know and/or think these things.

Let's see....

United States history-  We had a couple come over to our house and they talked a lot about the state of our country and current events like the health care bill.  As they talked about where our country may be headed I suddenly realized just how thankful I am for our country, for our freedom, and so thankful to the men that have fought throughout the years since the 1700's for us to have this country.  I seriously well up with tears when I think about the battles that have been fought for the freedoms that we enjoy, that our children enjoy.  I've taken them for granted.  I live so comfortably but it wasn't without a high price being paid.  Before those things to me were out of sight, out of mind I guess.  It's like I can handle only so much mental information.  God is changing that!  My little safe bubble has been popped.

The U.S. Government-  I am SO horrified that I didn't know this but I thought we were a democracy.  Not that I really knew what that was.  I had no idea that we were a republic.  I still have SO very much to learn in regards to how our government works (which if any of you know of a good book or any good curriculum to teach this that isn't too heavy I would love for you to share that with me).  We don't have cable and even when we did I didn't watch the news.  I would just feel horrible afterwards and I couldn't stand the heaviness it gave me.  It invaded my safe little "bubble" so I just didn't watch.  And politics would just go over my head so I've never paid much attention.  When this couple began explaining the potential effects the health care bill could have on my life and the lives of my children my ears perked up.  I began to see just how important it is that there are godly men in government positions and just how important it is that the principles on which our country were founded are upheld.  Who is going to uphold them?  Who if not us?  It's you and it's me.  We cannot afford to take our freedom for granted.  We need to train our boys and prepare them for positions of leadership. 

Different types of rocks-  Okay, I know this sounds just sooooo trivial compared to the other posts.  But I have been learning a lot about different kinds of rocks and I really like rocks and it has been lots of fun!  Not too much to say about this right now other than I never even knew that there were three different types of rocks, sedimentary, igneous and metamorphic.  I love learning new things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Raising a family/leaving a legacy-  Leaving the dentist today I encountered an elderly man entering the dentist office to pick up his grandson.  He struck up a conversation with Micah who had just had his first filling.  Then he and I began to talk.  I was blown away by his resemblance to my grandfather, my mother's father.  It was all I could do to hold back the tears.  My grandfather passed away in my middle teen years and I miss him terribly.  Terribly.  This elderly man and I continued to talk for about 15 minutes.  Half-way through that time I finally couldn't hold them back.  I began to ball.  Not too dramatically but the tears were streaming quite quickly down my cheeks.  I had to explain.  I told him he looked like my grandfather and he talked like him.  They had the same sounding voice and the same accent and inflections.  They had similar mannerisms.  It was like I was standing there with my grandfather again.  

Growing up in a divorced home times two I didn't have a whole lot of stability.  It was my grandparents that never changed.  They were my safe place, my refuge.  They didn't leave, they didn't change.  They were in the same home all my growing up years.  They were consistent, they were reliable, they were a haven of rest.  My grandfather delighted in me.  When I woke up in the morning with hair going every where he would sing, "Here she comes, Miss America!" with the sweetest smile on his face.  As I was leaving he would slip a twenty dollar bill into my hand with a grin.  I can still remember that sheepish grin he would give me.  I remember his hugs, those bony shoulders, I remember the feel of his hair because I would pat it while he sat in his recliner in the living room as I walked by through the hallway into the kitchen.  I remember wanting to sit next to him at dinner in the dining room.  I remember the jokes he would tell.  I don't remember enough.  

I didn't know that those memories at my grandparents house would be the best memories of my childhood and that I needed to live every moment like it was fleeing and I'd never never taste it again.  I didn't know to memorize things they said.  But I need to remember them now.  

So all that to say, when I got home and I was cooking dinner, home made pizza and making an egg custard pie for dessert it hit me that I am not just surviving, I'm not just getting through one more day, I'm not just doing my job, I'm making memories, these are the memories that my boys are going to have when they grow up.  This is it!  This is their childhood, and it is fleeing, the days are going by faster than I can catch up with them.  It's going, days, weeks, months, years and soon they will be grown.  And my opportunity to leave them with a legacy will be over.  You can't go back.  We only go forward.  I want to leave in the trails of their memory, warmth, love, traditions, laughter, games, long walks, talks about our Lord, kisses, hugs, cuddling....  As adults I want them to remember in their hearts the sweet days of their childhoods when they were care free, when the structures of our home life,  of discipline, of instruction gave them safety to explore their part of the world that God has put them in.    

There are more things that God has been teaching me and I'll come back to post about them later.  I have a baby to nurse and cuddle until he falls asleep...  I'm going to blink and I won't have the opportunity again.

1 comment:

Daphne said...

The tears are flowing here. That was beautiful Abby.