No adoption news. There is a team of about 12 people in country right now to build the new orphanage. They are being held up by the Ministry of Health. It looks like to get the container with all the orphanage supplies they will have to pay upwards of 7,000 dollars! We are praying that justice will be done and the fee will be waived! If they have to pay it the orphanage will not have the indoor kitchen that they were hoping for.
As it turns out we will not be able to talk to the kids over the phone anymore. I feel so disconnected from them. For probably 3-4 weeks I was able to talk to them several times a week. Now that I can't anymore I feel even more the thousands of miles that separate us. I wonder what God is doing but I trust Him. I've been learning that faith is all about trusting a God that we cannot see, and often times we cannot see or understand what he is doing in our lives. And that is faith, loving and trusting him in the darkness. So by His grace, I am.
Things are getting done around here in preparation for the new baby. I'm slowly getting through all the baby stuff that hasn't been used for 3 years and getting it washed and put away in the babies room. It's fun to me to get out the baby stuff again and so I don't mind the extra laundry. I'm just doing a load a day or so and spreading it out since it is a chore I don't mind doing. It is so fun to be getting ready for another baby. I walk around and I just feel SO blessed. It makes no difference that I wake up every few hours in tremendous pain and I fall asleep in pain. None of that matters-it doesn't lesson the blessing of a new baby! I put my hands on my belly and feel the babies little feet, legs, and back and I'm amazed. Amazed at God's creation and that he would bless us again with a new little one.
I'm looking forward to all the things that entail having a new baby, carrying him in a sling, and when he is big enough, the ERGO. Nursing him, bathing him, putting on his little clothes. Watching him grow... Even as I say all this fear does come into my heart and I wonder will I get to do all those things with him? Will he be born healthy and well? Will I really get to have and hold a new baby? After three miscarriages it is hard not to fear another loss. But the losses make what I have all the more sweeter. And if I do get to have him and raise him, I will cherish him all the more. I know each child is a gift!
So as of now, life is sort of in the mode of preparation for the baby, nesting, getting rid of things we don't need, organizing, doing little projects, wrapping up the school year over the next 2 months, planning for next school year, etc.
I'm hitting an interesting place food wise. I'm starting to feel a bit nauseated again, certainly not as bad as the first 14 weeks, but the foods we normally eat are not sounding good. So I'm entering into a food rut, which stinks! I have to cook three times a day plus 2 snacks-so it isn't something I can avoid! :) I'll have to start experimenting and trying to find new recipes.
Well, it is late-off to bed...